STRETCH

Quotable: Character

"We are foolish when we want to conquer the world, we are wise when we want to conquer ourselves."

That begins when we do what we should no matter how we feel about it.

Stretch yourself

Jesse

Drivers and Passengers

Ever noticed when things go bad, some people tend to blame someone else for the problem?  They act like passengers.  Leaders, however, realize they they are drivers-and are responsible for their attitudes and destination in life.

Being a driver is about responsibility.  It's about ownership.  Unfortunately, it's a life lesson some people never learn.  When life goes wrong, many people blame others for the problem.

"If my professor would only..."

"If my parents didn't..."

"If my boss wasn't so..."

People who don't take responsibility for actions become a victim who has no control over their attitudes of their destination.  They are passengers in life.  Leaders take responsibility for their attitude.  They take responsibility for their responses to problems  They take responsibility for the direction of their lives.

Leaders choose to be drivers and demonstrate it in their attitude.

In what area of your life have you failed to be a driver? Where have you become a victim or a 'passenger,' and allowed circumstances to determine where your life has gone?

Stretch yourself

Jesse

*Thank you to Dr. Tim Elmore for inspiration.

Thoughts I live by...

Here is a thought I try my hardest to live by:

 I and I alone, ultimately control my own happiness by the attitude I choose to "mentally fan" in the private corridors of my mind.  No circumstances or person can impact my personal happiness significantly.  I am the master of my own attitude.

Stretch yourself,

Jesse

Let it be known...

A man's word is the measure of his character.

Stretch yourself

Jesse

Men Only: Who are you dealing with?

Every man has three men to deal with: the man he wants other people to think he is, the man he thinks he is, and the man he really is.

The Mask

Men tend to hide.  We hide our emotions, we hide our intentions, we hide our faults and insecurities.  We hid our problems and we often hide who we really are.  It's easier that way.  No explaining to do and therefore nothing messy to deal with.  Life is met head on with 'bring-it' attitude hidden behind a 'if they only knew who I really was' lifestyle.  The mask covers a lot, and whatever is kept in the dark has an opportunity to grow and only until it is exposed to the light or reality can true healing ever begin to take place.  We put on a show and invite others to watch, the show may look good from a distance but up-close the stench of false reality lingers.  Maybe, just maybe this is 'a' reason we don't allow ourselves to get to close to people.  The mask always represents the man he wants other people to think he is.

Delusional Dan

Every man thinks he is great.  He has the solution, he knows how to fix the problem and doesn't need any help.  He is an extraordinary husband and father always going above and beyond and any woman should be so lucky to call him her own.  Sure he has issues, but at least they aren't as bad as 'that' guy's problems.  In his mind he has it all together and everything is taken care of.  Don't tell him the truth about who he really is - he wont listen because his pride is way to loud.  Delusional Dan always represents the man he thinks he is.  

Reality

Unfortunately, most men don't even know who they really are.  They have spent so much time getting away from reality, they no longer know what it looks like.  I think if we could see who we really were we may be shocked.  

How can we know who we really are?  

An 'in your face' friend will do the trick.  We need to build relationships with other men who will tell us like it is.  Someone who isn't afraid to call us out of immaturity and prideful arrogance.  Someone who will believe in us regardless of how many mistakes we make.  Someone who wont allow us to keep making the same mistakes.  Someone who will challenge us to step and be the men we ought to be.

Who is this person for you?

Which of these do you find yourself dealing more with in your own life?

Stretch yourself

Jesse

Not leaving anything on the table...

As a leader, there is no doubt you will be faced with an opportunity to confront someone.  The keyword is 'opportunity.'  Confronting someone usually is a little like going to the dentist, you have to but you don't want to.  It is however a great chance to add value to someone you care about.  Here are a few strategic steps to take to make it a good experience for both of you.  Be sure to...

1. Encourage - this is the "You can!" part of the conversation.  Encourage actually means to 'put courage into.'  Be sure to encourage the person with what they can do.

2.  Inspire - this is the "You could!" element.  When you inspire someone, you 'fill' them with a thought of what could be.  Paint a picture for them and help them see what could be.

*Both encourage and inspire lay the foundation for the final step.

3.  Equip - This is the "You should!" part of the process.  This is where we have an opportunity to add value to another by gently directing them to an area of improvement.

When confrontation is necessary, remember to build before you destroy.  And don't leave anything on the table...

Stretch yourself

Jesse

Confession

I'm officially addicted to the following:

salt, monosodium glutamate, sugar, spices, paprika), seasoned coater(enriched bleached flour [bleached flour malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid], sugar, salt, monosodium glutamate, nonfat milk, leavening [baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate], spice, soybean oil, color [paprika]), milk wash (water, whole powdered egg and nonfat milk solids), peanut oil(fully refined peanut oil with TBHQ and citric acid added to preserve freshness and dimethylpolysiloxane an anti-foaming agent added), pickles(cucumbers, water, vinegar, salt, contains less than 1% of the following: calcium chloride, alum, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate [preservatives], natural flavors, polysorbate 80, Yellow #5, blue 1), butter-flavored vegetable oil(soybean oil, palm kernel oil, soy lecithin, natural and artificial flavor, TBHQ and citric acid added as preservatives, and artificial color).

This conglomeration of fantastic/scary ingredients somehow heroically forms my favorite food.

Hungry?

'Lead with your Listener'

• We spend half of our 'work' day - about four hours - in listening activities.   
• You hear about two hours' worth of what is said.
• You actually listen to about half of it. 
• You only understand thirty minutes of that hour. 
• You believe only 15 minutes' worth. 
• And you remember less than eight minutes of all that is said. 

There IS a difference between 'hearing' and 'listening'.  When people talk - do you really 'hear' them? Can you 'feel' what they are trying to express?  This isn't about making assumptions or drawing conclusions. This is about understanding, learning, keeping problems from growing, and establishing trust.

"One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is the gift of attention." - John Rohn

I love this quote because it reminds me that listening is so much more than hearing.  Listening is far more than simply using your ears.  Listening requires eye contact, body language and time.  One rule I try to live by when interacting and 'listening' to others is this:

Wherever you are, be all the way there.

I want my mind, my attention, my eyes to be focused on the individual speaking to me.  The next time you are in a group of people and someone is talking - look at their eyes as they speak and before you know it, they will be looking at you the majority of the time.  This naturally will create influence and influence always precedes leadership.

So, in the context of your relationships at home, work or play - are you a 'hearer' or a 'listener'?

Stretch yourself

Jesse

Wherever sleep may find you..

I put 'Thing 2' in his bed and told 'Thing 1' to go to bed.  After about thirty minutes I went to check on T1 and this is what I found...

Yes, that's him asleep in a laundry basket...WHOW!!  What a cute kid. ;)

Sure do love you son...

Dad

Happy Birthday 'Thing 2'!!

Noble turned three today.  We did the usual.  Presents, cake, song and WATER PARK!  Here are some pics!

Noble had a great day, first thing he said when he saw his presents was "Thank you mom and dad!"  You are welcome little man.....enjoy those golf clubs, you have a scholarship to earn!

Dad